https://slama.dev/comeback/
Three, four.
So tomorrow is the singing gig.
Yes?
Tomas!
This is modern, you see?
For God's sake, what happened?
My new image for my young audience.
What young audience of yours?
See?
You're trying to suggest again that only old ladies come to my shows.
But Kostelec opened my eyes.
That was an exception.
Unfortunately.
But you know what energy it gave me?
Seeing a young person at my concert, and so many?
There was only one old lady, just one.
Everyone else was under twenty.
That was the history teacher from 8B. She brought them to see what real socialism looked like.
And did they like it?
On the way from the concert they threw her into a creek.
Tomas, your career is in crisis.
Dolni Loucky, five paying.
Chroustov, seven.
Two paid with firewood.
Destne in the Orlicke Mountains, nineteen.
Well.
They came to shelter from the storm.
Tomas, we need to do something.
And this isn't enough?
Stefan says a costume change is passe.
These days only a sex change works.
But we can't wait.
So where's Stefan?
Pabecky?
Yes, I went to consult with him.
But everyone hates him.
Who's everyone?
In the business.
Well, his methods may be a bit unconventional, but he boosts anyone's popularity.
Gott says he'll punch him.
Because thanks to him he's stuck with a young wife and two kids.
But look how well he sells.
I don't want any more kids.
Look at Stefan's successes.
Well, Richard Miller.
Career in decline, but he just had to strip in Zlin and he was sold out for half a year.
But there were drugs involved, right?
Drugs?
Stefan always says, scandal is the best advertising.
Horrible.
Rychtar said the same thing when Stefan told him to marry Bartosova.
Good Lord, have we sunk so low that only those with no shame whatsoever are popular?
And they brag about it?
Tomas, I'll say just two words.
Leos Mares.
This is always how it starts.
For now you're just four individuals who each think they're here on their own.
Today you still feel like you're Jura, Jira, Zdenda, Simca.
Simona.
Simca.
Every extra syllable is wasted time, and time is the decisive factor in the game for the customer.
You probably think your job will be frying fries and mopping the floor, right?
Wrong.
Great.
Who can figure out why I'm going to say this word?
Volleyball.
Well.
Because it has "volley" in it?
No.
Keep thinking.
Are there any options?
Alright, hint: what's the most important thing in volleyball?
The dig?
For me, the serve.
Yes, but what's even more important?
The team.
Yeah, I knew that too.
Volleyball is a team sport, after all.
Right.
And fast food is too.
I'm the captain of the Castle, I spike, the guy in the kitchen serves.
And all of you are a team that only wins when it cooperates perfectly.
Got it?
Good.
Pop quiz.
Who is the customer?
The opponent, God no.
The customer is the ball that must not hit the ground.
Got it?
So, what did you take away from this?
That we'll be playing volleyball?
No.
Iva!
Want some Mega Breast?
Out.
Iva, Mom's bringing us dinner from the new job today.
She can get some for you too.
Spicy Mega Breast.
Cool burger menu.
Happy Cheese.
Thanks, but I don't eat that junk.
What junk?
A proper slab of happy meat with a generous portion of happy cheese in a super bun, it'll make you drool.
What does it say, Happy Cheese?
Fried patty made from animal-based substance.
Soy extract with cheese flavor, bun made of flour, fat, preservatives and sugar.
Contains monosodium glutamate.
Simona says decent people don't read the fine print.
Hello.
Hello, what can I offer you?
Just a salad, please.
Regular or a fit salad with reduced sugar content?
The fit one.
Fit!
Fit, got it!
Great.
With mayonnaise?
God, no mayonnaise.
No worries.
Happy mayo is a new type of mayonnaise.
No trace of oil or eggs.
Really?
Plus, with a salad with happy mayo we offer our choco bomb or fries at a special price.
Definitely not the choco bomb.
So fries then.
Fries!
Yeah, fries.
Ketchup?
Two.
Alright, so that's two ketchups, fries, happy mayo.
How about we bundle it all into our super deal menu?
So you don't overpay.
Three ketchups for the price of two, happy mayo, salad, fries and also happy thighs.
Two?
Four.
Fries?
To drink: Pepsi, light Pepsi, or Happy Juice?
Just water.
Water wouldn't be worth it for you.
So Pepsi?
Runs and a Pepsi!
Runs, Pepsi, got it!
Runs, got it!
And that's 420 crowns, please.
Runs, Pepsi, please.
Got it.
Coming up.
Team huddle!
So, for whom do the fries toll?
Well, I'm going to Marik's.
Nowhere.
Ivushka, the beer relay starts soon.
They put me up against the Nusle guys.
Someone from the team can fill in for him.
What team?
You said relay, right?
For the Nusle guys I'm enough on my own.
I need to quiz you on the way home.
Ivushka.
Dad said I should check if you can find your way.
I found it on Sunday.
Yeah, but you left on Thursday.
And yesterday we picked you up at the train depot in Prague South.
Trams and handcars should be more clearly differentiated.
Sit down.
Marik's.
Ivushka, maps only confuse people.
Yeah, a real man doesn't need a map.
Right, Mr. Ozzak?
Like that time you said the same at the orienteering event, and we ended up fishing you out of Macocha.
Which way will you go from Marik's?
Right.
Wrong, straight.
You can't go straight.
Why?
Because right in front of the door there's a trench.
Can't you cross it?
With a footbridge, Libal apparently botched the roof on the outhouse.
Everyone goes right.
But there's nothing to the right.
There's a sewer.
You go through the sewer?
It's a shortcut.
And it always spits us out...
Right in this bakery at Pece.
You go through a bakery?
Nobody minds.
Everyone at Pece is snoring anyway.
But Mr. Ozzak, you're pointing at the Strasnice crematorium.
Those are the Furnaces, Ivushka.
That's what I'm saying.
Maps only confuse people.
It is true that it's much shorter.
And without a map.
If he's so good, then why does he always end up lost in Barikadniku park, two streets from here?
That park is cursed.
And the guard there is a real swine, he always points me the wrong way on purpose.
A guard.
In a park.
Sure.
Does he have a flat cap and a broom?
There's no guard in the park.
But there is a statue of Marshal Konev, hidden in the lilacs.
Alright, why would a statue show Ozzak the way?
His right hand is pointing toward the exit.
Not toward the exit!
Toward the hole in the fence!
So now that I know I'm not gonna talk to that crook anymore, can I go?
Fine, go.
Hello, Tomas.
Hey.
What happened?
The cops woke me up at five in the morning.
Ozzak?
They found him sleeping in the metro at Flora.
Line A didn't run for an hour because of him.
This is going to be embarrassing today.
Too bad it wasn't you.
Excuse me?
See?
Leos again.
He rode a motorcycle across the Charles Bridge?
And naked, Tomas, naked.
Stefan's work.
That can't possibly work.
Can't?
Today they offered him to host the Prague Spring festival.
Have you figured out what you're going to do?
Well, I could trample tulips in the park.
Like Volka.
Attacks on public greenery are passe.
What's the most daring thing you can think of?
I won't pay my rent.
What's daring about that?
You don't know our building manager.
Brave move, Tomas.
Have you ever read in the tabloids about someone beaten with a rag?
So what should I do?
I'm no tiger.
I've got an idea.
What?
You'll go to Cafe Slavia for coffee.
And I'll come up to you for an autograph.
What's daring about that?
I'll be wearing only a bra.
Only a bra?
I'll obviously be dressed from the waist down.
That's a relief.
I mean, not that I think you've got something horrible down there, no.
On the contrary, I think you've got it quite nice down there.
Which of course doesn't mean I'm in any way interested.
Then at least try to steal something.
Lineup for today's winning match is Jira on sanitation, Zdenda on kitchen, Jura on display, Simca on fries.
That's the same as yesterday.
Yep.
But in volleyball you rotate positions.
I'd like to try the register.
Zdenda, the customer is the ball, got it?
The register needs someone with experience, who can dribble.
Like in volleyball.
But come on, shh!
I have experience with a register.
Oh.
Well, you may not know this, but just a few weeks ago there was a pub here and our Simca was the one serving.
But Happy Chick and a tap room...
It's like if she played volleyball her whole life and then switched to volleyball.
I ran into Lexa at Stefan's doorstep.
Sorry, I had to straighten my back from the railroad ties.
Look, this can't go on.
Someone has to walk you home.
And who, Piskot?
Who's Piskot again?
Libal's son.
Libal was worried I'd get lost again, so he sent him with me.
Great idea.
One drunk walking another drunk home.
Piskot doesn't drink, he's doing a courage challenge.
A courage challenge?
He's a boy scout.
What's courageous about not drinking?
Going to a pub and leaving his drink untouched takes guts.
You should stick with a friend like that.
I was holding onto him.
Not well enough, since you ended up on the tracks.
He's the one who dragged me there.
We got lost in the park again, so first he spent an hour looking for an anthill to find north, then we looked at stars for two hours, and when it started raining, he said, there's a cave in that hill, we'll wait till dawn.
Jesus, alright, I'll wait for you tonight.
Tomas, tonight you have other plans.
Work it out with Iva.
I don't understand how you can eat that.
It makes me want to puke.
That's just the first impression.
Once you take a bite, you can't stop.
Can't you eat that at home?
Mom says she smells that stink all day at work, so we should eat it outside.
Want some?
No thanks.
I have risotto.
At least I know what's in it.
Come on.
Everything is made from first-class ingredients.
Perfect quality and natural origin of all materials used is guaranteed by the Melovosice Company.
Sasha, could you go with me to the park tonight to pick up Ozzak?
Dad can't, and I'm scared to go alone.
I'll go.
Thanks, Lexa.
I'd rather be scared than grossed out.
What if a mean dog comes at us?
Then we'll take Lexa too.
But Lexa is scared of dogs.
That's fine.
We'll trip him, the dog goes after him, and we run.
What if a pervert comes at us?
Same thing.
Homemade cherry liqueur, want some?
Pour me one.
Since we're the team...
Pour me some too, I'm all dried out from that eternal juicing.
In the other Happy Chicks they rotate normally, I asked my brother.
He plays volleyball there too.
I don't care about the fries or the runs, but his constant yapping...
That moron knows nothing about volleyball.
I've been playing it for 20 years.
It's more the "volley" part that bothers me.
So we don't forget.
Jura, you don't have to be afraid around me.
We're one team.
Clink glasses with us.
There'll be another chance.
Rudi, why won't you let anyone on the register?
What?
What do you mean I won't?
When you went to the bathroom, you tripped the circuit breaker just in case, so you wouldn't have to switch.
That was to save power.
Right.
And when you went to get soap, you accidentally took the cash registers with you?
Look, don't bullshit us.
We're your team, aren't we?
Fine.
I got a tip that Mishon is coming for us.
And who's that?
An inspector from the customer care department.
Jesus, so when you spot him, you jump behind the register?
Simca, Mishon is a master of disguise.
And extremely cunning.
He always disguises himself as a difficult customer.
For example, he infiltrated the Bratislava Castle branch disguised as a Hungarian.
That pig!
The poor guys refused to serve him, Mishon wrote a report, and headquarters transferred the whole team to Dyjer for two years.
Jesus, Mary!
You're not ready for the register yet.
One little mistake is all it takes.
One badly served customer.
Oops!
Probably dead battery.
Just like in volleyball.
How long before we go?
About two hours.
Lexa, I said flashlight.
Go away.
Uncle.
Leave me alone.
At least we don't have to go to the park.
And be afraid of the pervert.
Tell me what happened.
Leave him alone.
The last time he got home from the pub before midnight was during the floods.
And they had to bring him on a raft.
Something weird happened.
Yeah, it did.
You came home dressed like a pervert.
That's not relevant.
I'll just call Marik's and ask Libal what you were up to there.
He got kicked out.
Libal isn't there anymore.
How come?
Yesterday when he was closing up, he fell into the trench in front of the pub.
Broke both arms.
Oh, that's lovely.
The doctors even say they don't know if he'll ever pour beer again.
Piskot took over for him.
Well, there you go.
What do I see?
He brought his scout buddies, pours beer into mess kits and won't give any to anyone who doesn't sing something by the Bears.
Even just a little waltz.
Dad.
So I told them what I think of their music.
Oh boy.
And they told me that if I ever show up there again, I'll find out what it's like when your tongue hits a broken tooth.
Sorry, I'm a bit late.
There's a terrible mess on the street.
A child on a tricycle supposedly fell into a sewer.
Oh God.
I'll return it right away, I...
Are you insane?!
Do you want to be forever known as the guy who throws kids into sewers?
Howdy.
Hello.
Well, thanks.
I've made my money today.
A child in a sewer is better than Brozova in bath.
You two know each other?
That's Mr. Pastyrik from Blesk tabloid.
Stefan works with him often.
Pastyrik?
Pacovsky.
Is the child okay?
Don't even mention that little brat.
I had to cough up five grand to get him to be thrown in again.
Thrown in again?
By the time I got there, the little rascal had climbed out on his own.
But then what?
Newspapers don't write themselves, do they?
So what scandal shall we commit?
I've got it figured out.
Impoverished singer caught stealing in a supermarket.
Good.
Stefan said you're talented.
I am not going to steal anywhere.
What if I got caught?
That's the whole point.
I'd do it around four, when Harold's is packed.
At five you're at the police station, at six home, and tomorrow in the papers.
That won't work.
At four there's a neo-Nazi rally at Palacky Square, so...
Neo-Nazis?
Why didn't you tell me?
We only talked them into it today.
Beautiful, isn't it?
You'll stand up to fascism.
Have you lost your mind?
According to Stefan, resistance to violence is the second-best way of self-promotion.
And what's the first?
Violence.
Yeah, blood sells.
I'll photograph that with pleasure.
I'll photograph you and Mr. Pacovsky on Palacky Square.
With pleasure.
Oh God, are you alright?
I couldn't do nothing, I snuck in there in disguise.
And if they'd found me out, I loved you.
Where's bro?
No idea, he was hugging me too and asking what my blood type is.
Tell him I loved him too.
Yeah, he's sending you the same message.
Great.
One Pepsi, will that be all?
Yes.
Oh, sorry, some extra fries fell in there by mistake.
Should I call the manager to cancel it?
Oh, leave them.
That's very kind.
One fries.
Fries are up.
Fries, got it.
199.
Oh, thanks.
Enjoy your meal.
Thanks.
Goodbye.
And they said the Badger tricks wouldn't work here.
I don't know.
Want something?
I want the Badger.
The Badger is gone.
The Badger may be gone, but you can get excellent chicken at a great price.
Want chicken?
I want everything to go back to the way it was.
A real man like this.
He'll surely appreciate our 300-gram Happy Slab.
Got any shots?
We unfortunately don't carry alcohol.
Pepsi?
What?
Beer?
I see you're a demanding customer.
I've got it.
Beer is yellow with foam, so a banana shake.
Who is that?
That's the boss.
And can't he give the guy a beer?
A lager, a porter, anything?
No, but I could offer the Lucky Six.
What?
Two wings, two thighs, and two bishops in a delicious chili sauce.
Rudi, leave him.
Are you crazy?
That's obviously Mishon.
And with the Lucky Six you can choose one of our plush toys.
A donkey.
That's not Mishon, that's Ozzak.
How do you know?
He's a friend who used to come to my pub.
Seriously?
Yeah.
So I've been playing the fool because of some vagrant, I'm used to going out boozing.
I was only here to have a beer.
You'll get nothing.
Go to some bar, stop wasting our time.
I'm out of here.
I apologize.
You should.
Here you go.
I'm Cyril Mishon from the customer care department.
You refused to serve a customer.
But he...
He is a customer like any other.
I'll just go change in the bathroom and then we'll write it up in your office.
See?
Now you could use a shot too.
Finally, Tomas, are you alright?
The neo-Nazis didn't show up.
Then you should have done the Nazi salute yourself.
Woman, you've completely lost it.
Yeah, probably.
Trying to save the career of such a loser.
What?
What do you mean, loser?
Loser!
I'm a decent person!
No, you're a coward!
A plain coward!
Me, a coward?!
A total coward!
You couldn't even raise your hand?!
Me, a coward!
Coward!
Plain coward!
Coward!
And you should see.
That was that...
It was, well no, it wasn't.
Obviously.
You're married.
I know.
And we're coworkers.
Yes.
I'm married.
I know, I know.
Well, I have kissed an older woman a few times before.
I mean, not that you're in any way old.
It's actually the opposite.
On the contrary, I think that for your age you...
Tomas.
Yes?
Next time just do the Nazi salute.
This is culture minister, a welcome address.
Hush.
So how did it go?
I'll miss you.
He didn't fire you over something this stupid, did he?
No, but you guys.
As in, us?
He said that with a team that drinks alcohol at work and constantly questions my authority, I was simply bound to fail.
On Monday they're sending me some students.
Wait.
So you sacrificed us to save your own job?
I had to.
I'm the captain.
A captain leaves the ship last.
You know how we'd settle this with the boys in volleyball?
No, no, in boxing.
Yes, thank you.
Goodbye.
Tomas, they're fighting over you.
What?
The 25th Sluknov, the 27th
Jestrebi and the 4th Kostelec again.
The principal called, the whole school wants you.
I told you it would work without a scandal.
What's this supposed to mean?
Stefan was right.
Nudity works great.
But that's not me.
I mean, the top is me, but the bottom is completely different.
Not smaller, different.
The bottom is of course the Prime Minister.
Pabecky said,
when reality fails, it's time for photomontage.
But that's fraud.
That's show business, Tomas.
Oh, not again.
Goodbye, come again.
For whom do the fries toll?